Poker Through the Eyes of an Amateur

February 01, 2006

I Hate Donkeys

Ok, so I've been asked what happened in the WWdN game last night. The fact is, I was playing just fine, until some donkey busted me out. It made absolutely no sense. Even my fifteen year old sister could tell you what this guy did was a horrible play, but that doesn't change the outcome. Read on for my horrible beat.

The cards go live at 8:30 PM, and I end up drawing seat two at a table with Joanne. Hey, at least someone I know is here. Fun stuff. We talk for a while, and cards are dealt. I win/lose a couple of small pots early on, and then I hit the death hand in second position: AQh.

First position calls BB, and I pump it to 4x. It folds around to the villain in seat 6, who calls. He has me covered by a very slight margin. It then folds back to first position who also calls.

Flop: Ac8cXc

Whatever, I'm not scared of a three flush. First position checks to me, and I bet. Seat 6 min-raises me. First position folds. Oh jeez, a min raise. He might have the Kc! I'm scared! Call.

Turn: Qd

I push all in. Genius boy in seat 6 thinks for like a second and calls... with Jc8s. W...T...F???

Let's analyze this, shall we?

Why are you in this hand in the first place? You called a 4x raise with a J8 offsuit?! Note: you are a moron. Fine, you're in the hand. Whatever. You have a pair of eights with two over cards on the board. You must know (if you are a person of any intelligence) that you are WAY behind. You are 18% to hit your flush on the river. Even if you do hit your miracle flush, it will be third best, unless the card is a K or Q, at which point it will be second best. Why would you take that risk with all of your chips? I think all of you can see that this is a horrible, horrible call.

But the poker gods don't care.

River: 8h

I've never come so close to going Helmuth on someone's ass as I did last night. However, I remained mostly composed, wished Joanne good luck, and left. I swear, I thought the folks who came to the WWdN game knew how to play. Apparently someone left the barn door open. I hate donkeys.


  • Remember, long term. You want that donk to make that terrible call. Or, at least that is what I try to tell myself before I go ballistic.

    By Blogger Wes, at 2/01/2006 10:25 AM  

  • Whatever, you came in second. :-p

    Nice job!

    By Blogger Matt Silverthorn, at 2/01/2006 10:50 AM  

  • Wow Matt that is one sucky beat story. I was sure as I read your post that it would end with the zobo hitting his 5.4-to-1 flush draw on the river. But the third 8, that is just insult to injury to me.

    And hey man, don't underestimate the benefits of going Hellmuth on someone once in a while, especially on pokerstars. It may actually get through to the guy and stop him from being such a donkey all the time. Or at the very least, you will likely feel somewhat better yourself after getting off a few good one-liners as you chat this guy to death.

    My buddy V who plays on stars with me all the time likes to lurk at the table when a particularly donkeyish guy knocks him out of a tourney. Then, Every Single Time the donkey makes a stupid play and loses some chips, my buddy will just type into the observer chat "Donk!". You'd be surprised how much anger this can cause, after the 7th or 8th time in an hour the same moron has to see "Donk!", "Donk! Donk!", "Donk! Donk! Donk!" etc. It's good stuff man.

    OK well sorry about yesterday. Maybe I'll see you for Wil's Thursday nighter this week.


    By Blogger Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo, at 2/01/2006 3:25 PM  

  • Ouch! I agree with Hammer...making the flush would've been bad, but just pulling the 3rd 8 sucks serious ass. As others have noted, you normally want the donkeys to call. You just want to watch your step so you don't step in the steaming pile they left on the floor! I don't know what else you could've done, short of pushing preflop and hoping that would scare him. Hee haw! What can you do?

    By Blogger iamhoff, at 2/01/2006 4:58 PM  

  • I thought I was the only d0nk allowed to pull that crap on you!

    By Anonymous Zeem, at 2/02/2006 2:03 AM  

  • I have a love-hate relationship with donkeys. I love when they bet their marginal hands into my monsters. I hate when they suckout on me like this one did against you. When I get clobbered with a bad beat like yours, I try to remember all the money he and his stable-mates are going to give me the next time they call me with manure like that. Those thoughts ease some of the pain.

    By Blogger yestbay, at 2/03/2006 7:48 PM  

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